(Forbes) By Willard Dix —
Thousands of eager students are putting the finishing touches on their college applications this weekend (or so their parents and counselors fervently hope). All the pesky scores and grades have been swatted down like gnats into their little squares. The recommendations have been written or at least requested, and the “personal” essay has been all but polished to a glittering sheen. All that remains is the final and most annoying pest, the “Why do you love us?” essay.
You may not think so, but colleges need some lovin’ just like you and I do. They want to know you’re serious about them, that all your application effort isn’t just to get them to go out with you and then dump them. They’re afraid you’re a player. They don’t want to fall in love with you and have you leave them for some worthless college down the street that doesn’t deserve you.
When the deadline for commitment arrives, you’ll even hear admission officers wail, “She dumped us!” or “We’ve been jilted!” or “He was my favorite! Why did he turn us down?” The language of spurned lovers permeates the air.
But the fact is, you are a player in the college admission process. You plan on dating several colleges and would rather not let them know about each other. (That’s why I’ve always advocated against making students reveal their choices–it’s none of their business.) You want to play the field and keep your options open. You like this one for its studly reputation on the field; you like the other one for its sensuous landscape; you like a third because it has an alluring social scene and a fourth because its faculty beckons you with one-on-one advising. No need for them to know all that.
So you have to get creative. As in any good multi-mate movie like like Holiday, My Favorite Wife, or A Letter to Three Wives, college applicants have to figure out ways to keep the objects of their affections from meeting each other while maintaining the façade that each one is the only one in their hearts.
When real life players finally get backed into a corner and have to answer the question, “Why do you love me?” the answer can’t be “Because you’re a boy/girl” or “Because you’re convenient.” These are not encouraging answers. They have to be something like, “Because of your beautiful smile, the deep blue of your eyes, and that way you laugh when you read the comics” or “Because you’re such a great conversationalist and we see eye to eye on so many things.” You’d better be ready with the specifics, chum.
Unfortunately, most applicants treat the colleges’ “Why do you love us” questions as throwaways, answering with “Because you’re a college” or “Because you have a magnificent and awesome program” or “Because attending Elysian College will give me a chance to live in Elysium and explore all it has to offer” or “Because I’ve always wanted to attend your prestigious institution.” Just like a potential partner, colleges are hurt by these responses: they show you don’t really know them at all. (Cue Taylor Swift lyric.)
